Showing posts with label bullying. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bullying. Show all posts

Friday, June 29, 2012

BEAUTIFUL MUSIC and ANTI-BULLYING MESSAGES


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CHARACTER MATTERS




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A GREAT ANTI-BULLYING WEBSITE




She Stood Up for Herself

By JACKY JOHNSON
Published July 28, 2003


Most people remember high school as a carefree time between teen and adulthood. Jodee Blanco remembers it as a nightmare.  At the hands of her peers in schools in Chicago's south suburbs, Blanco was beaten, spat upon and abused for most of her teen years.  "You know the (book) Carrie (by) Stephen King? Well, what I went through in school made that character's experiences look like a Disney flick," she says 20 years later.

The abuse started in elementary school when Blanco befriended a disabled girl and was teased and taunted about their friendship. As she moved from school to school to escape the abuse, some new event would spark more harassment.
In her eighth-grade biology class, a classmate hurled a dissected pig at her chest, splattering blood and formaldehyde into her nose and mouth.  In another incident, a group of wrestlers held her down and shoved fistfuls of snow into her mouth until she couldn't breathe. "One of them said to his buddies, "Hey you guys, I think she's gagging.' They gave each other high-fives, ran off and left me there," Blanco remembers.

In her new book, Please Stop Laughing at Me, Blanco recounts torment from being burned with cigarettes to being stoned by a group of boys. She bravely describes the daily ridicule of being considered an outcast. She explores the reasons for peer abuse, including the mistakes that parents make and tactics for kids who are suffering today.
"Ninety-five percent of the kids who are picked on by the cool crowd all have one big thing in common: They're all nice, sensitive kids and they're not comfortable putting other people down," Blanco says.

Blanco, 39, is now a publishing consultant, educator and author/professional speaker who consults with schools on antibullying initiatives. She is working to get her message out. "I always tell people that standing up for yourself in the moment abuse occurs is your human right; seeking vengeance later on is a mistake."

In a recent telephone interview, Blanco answered some questions about abuse.

Xpress: Why did you decide to write this book?

Blanco: . . . When Columbine happened and I watched it on the news like everybody else, all of America felt terrible for those kids who got killed. But for a split second, my heart went out to the assassins. I could identify with their pain; I understood the rage that would make them want to do something like that. And so, that's when I knew that I had to come forward with my story.

Xpress: How were you different from your bullies?

Blanco: I was different from the popular kids at school. I wasn't a jock, I wasn't a burnout, I couldn't do the things you had to do to be cool. I didn't want to smoke cigarettes in the girl's (bathroom), I didn't want to make fun of the chubby girl or the geeky guy with glasses. I spoke my mind if I saw a bunch of kids picking on an underdog . . . Well, when you're independent like that, and you're your own person, it often makes you the target of abuse . . .

Xpress: Did your parents unknowingly contribute to the problem?

Blanco: Absolutely. Even the most loving of parents can make the gravest of mistakes. My parents loved me desperately, but they made typical mistakes that a lot of parents make. For one thing, they would tell me, "Ignore the mean kids and they'll go away. Don't give them the satisfaction.' Well that's imposing adult logic in a teen circumstance . . . What my parents should have told me is, face the bullies in the eye, and with as much strength and as little emotion as you can handle, tell them to leave you alone.

Additionally, what I always tell parents when I give speeches is, "Fix the problem, don't try and fix your kid." There is nothing wrong with your kid to begin with. It's all the things that are right about your child that are making them a target in the first place.

Xpress: What helped you make it through high school without getting into drugs, (successfully) committing suicide or doing any of those other things that some teens fall into?

Blanco: It was tough. A couple of things. One is that, my parents are very loving and I had a lot of emotional support from them. And they were smart in that . . . they got me involved in activities outside of school . . . I got involved in the foreign language club, at a local church, at the community theater group for kids. So I was able to make some friends, totally outside of school, and that kept me sane.

Xpress: Do you believe that bullying occurs more in the United States than in other countries?

Blanco: No, it happens everywhere. In fact, Sony Corp. has just bought the Japanese language rights to my book and is going to be publishing it in Japanese because bullying and peer abuse is one of the biggest social problems in Japan. It's also a huge problem in the United Kingdom.

Xpress: Has what you endured strengthened your character? If given a second chance at high school would you still want to be a part of the "popular crowd?"

Blanco: "Being abused the way I was abused gave me two great advantages in adulthood. No. 1, I have no fear of rejection at all. I already faced the worst of it when I was a teenager, so there is nothing anybody can do to me now that will hurt as bad as what happened to me then.

No. 2, I'm a really good friend because my entire childhood I had no friends, so as an adult, when somebody's nice to me I never take their kindness for granted. I work extra hard at my friendships because I remember a time in my life when I didn't have any.

Xpress: How does bullying affect a person's personality?

Blanco: Bullying either will make you hide inside a shell . . . and you'll never live up to your potential, because all your life, you'll see yourself the way your tormentors saw you. Or you'll become someone like me: the overachiever . . . You keep trying to achieve stuff because you want to compensate for the fact that deep down, you don't like yourself because nobody liked you when you were young.

Xpress: Do bullies realize how much damage they do?

Blanco: . . . The bullies don't even remember what they did, because in their mind, they were just kids being kids. . . . The popular kids don't remember it because they weren't targets of it. The only people who remember it are the victims. And when they try to explain how bad it was, everybody thinks they're exaggerating. They are the only ones who can see the ghost of the scars that were inflicted upon them.


- Jacky Johnson, 15, will be a sophomore at Seminole High School.
[Last modified July 25, 2003, 12:47:09]


JODEE BLANCO: ON CNN

JODEE BLANCO:  PLEASE  STOP LAUGHING AT ME

JODEE BLANCO: TALKS ABOUT BULLYING

JODEE BLANCO: TALKS TO STUDENTS AT NOTRE DAME COLLEGE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X7mKElJoIs8

JODEE BLANCO: PRESENTATION ON BULLYING AT ONEKAMA SCHOOLS
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZUcGclhmZZc


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SONGS and QUOTES ABOUT BULLYING

DISCLAIMER:  
These are popular songs based on bullying that many teens listen to today.  Even though these songs have a strong message to convey they may be disturbing to some. 
(I have amended this article slightly and added links and videos.)
"10 BEST SONGS ABOUT BULLYING"
By: Lee Grayson
Break Studios Contributing Writer

The ten best songs about bullying involve both sides of the situation. Bullying is usually not something you want to admit or that you've been the victim of, but both situations have lead to some very good tunes. 

 01."Adam's Song" by Blink-182. 
The ten best songs about bullying, suicide and a period of deep, dark depression includes this tune by a California band formed in 1992. Although the inspiration later turned out to be based in fiction, this song struck a chord with folks who claimed to be victims of bullying, including folks involved in the Columbine High School disaster. 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2MRdtXWcgIw
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adam%27s_Song
http://www.songfacts.com/detail.php?id=2050
http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/b/blink_182/adams_song.html
02. "Don't Laugh at Me" by Mark Willis. 
Country singer/songwriter Willis' song has the same title as the tune by Peter Yarrow, but the words and 
meaning are a bit different. Willis' tune talks about a kid with glasses and braces and the teasing he endures 
at school. The tune then moves to the more universal themes of folks physically challenged. The theme is we all 
have baggage,  it's just that some of us have it on the outside. 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FVjbo8dW9c8&feature=fvwrel
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mv9fN0-062k&feature=related
03. "Miss Invisible" by Marie Digby. 
Released in 2008 on the album "Unfold," "Miss Invisible" makes the list of the ten best songs about bullying due to its lyrics.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_g5ZaV7ueAs
http://www.lyrics007.com/Marie%20Digby%20Lyrics/Miss%20Invisible%20Lyrics.html
http://www.yourchords.com/168096/Marie-Digby/Miss-Invisible-Chords/

04. "Stole" by Taylor Kelly Rowland. 
A top ten hit in the United Kingdom in 2003, the lyrics of "Stole" focus on the isolation and failure of others to welcome people at school who feel they are on the outside. The ultimate result for Rowland's group is suicide. It's a depressing song with a message for everyone else. 
http://lyrics.wikia.com/Kelly_Rowland:Stole
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ssQpr9TPJTk
05. "Hero" by Superchick, sometimes known as Superchic or Superchic[k]. 
The 2002 tune from the Christian-based group features the ballad-type story of folks pushed to the edge by exclusion and consider suicide as an option. The song is a call to others to step up and help these people to fit in and welcome them into their own life. The tune appeared on the "Last One Picked" album where the title sets the theme of bullying and exclusion by others. 
http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/Hero-lyrics-Superchick/C726E6E870713D9948256D2D0024FD08
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FI3PBGEGjrk

06. "Thoughtless" by Korn. 
A tune on Korn's "Untouchables," "Thoughtless" focuses directly on bullying. The video has a short of Carrie's revenge with the revenge turning to violence in later visual renditions of this tune. 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xVPvzX-AeSM
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thoughtless
http://www.elyrics.net/read/k/korn-lyrics/thoughtless-lyrics.html
http://www.songfacts.com/detail.php?id=2382

07. "Don't Laugh at Me" by Peter Yarrow. 
Inspired by Yarrow's own personal experience of lack of acceptance of alternative lifestyle choices, this song, one of the ten best songs about bullying, is specifically designed to be used in schools in an effort to open discussion about diversity and acceptance. The message is we're all different and bullying is not an option in dealing with the differences in others. Yarrow uses his own experience about coming out late in life due to the fear of bullying about his sexual preferences. 
http://www.learningtogive.org/lessons/unit187/lesson1.html
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zZkdTLOv97A

08. "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" by Green Day. 
A tune that first appeared on Green Day's 2004 album "American Idiot," "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" moves listeners to evaluate their place in the world. 
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boulevard_of_Broken_Dreams_(Green_Day_song)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bxfpMGLMZ7Y
http://www.heartwoodguitar.com/chords/green-day-boulevard-of-broken-dreams/
http://www.metrolyrics.com/boulevard-of-broken-dreams-lyrics-green-day.html
http://greenday.wikia.com/wiki/Boulevard_of_Broken_Dreams

09. "Bullying the Jukebox" by Bouncing Souls. 
A variation on the human theme, this group takes out their evening angst on a jukebox by the type of songs that get played throughout the evening. The chorus claims that all the songs the group likes are cool, while songs everyone else selects are junk. Same theme, just a bit more superficial than the other songs on the list. 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yMmXrWo_qeg
http://www.metrolyrics.com/bullying-the-jukebox-lyrics-bouncing-souls.html

10. "Why's Everybody Always Pickin' On Me?" by Bloodhound Gang. 
The 1996 tune appeared on "One Fierce Beer Coaster" LP and follows the life of poor Jimmy Pop over the course of the ridicule he receives at school. The music video explores the disease of katagelophobia, the medical condition of extreme fear of being the focus of ridicule from others. 
http://www.metrolyrics.com/whys-everybody-always-pickin-on-me-lyrics-bloodhound-gang.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Why%27s_Everybody_Always_Pickin%27_On_Me%3F
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xiep44_bloodhound-gang-why-s-everybody-always-pickin-on-me_music

References:
Whitburn, Joel. "The Billboard Book of Top 40 Hits." 2004- 2009
http://www.mademan.com/mm/10-best-songs-about-bullying.html
OTHER SONGS:

ANTI-BULLYING QUOTES

 "He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away." 
~Raymond Hull~

 "Always be a first-rate version of yourself, 
instead of a second-rate version of somebody else."  
~Judy Garland~

 "We are so accustomed to disguise ourselves to others 
that in the end we become disguised to ourselves."  
~François Duc de La Rochefoucauld~


 "It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are."  

~E.E. Cummings~

 "Never be bullied into silence.  
Never allow yourself to be made a victim.  
Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself."  
~Harvey Fierstein~

 "Learn to... be what you are,

and learn to resign with a good grace all that you are not."  

~Henri Frederic Amiel~

"No man can climb out beyond the limitations of his own character." 

~John Morley~





"There is just one life for each of us:  our own."  

~Euripides~





"Never apologize for showing feeling.

When you do so, you apologize for the truth."  

~Benjamin Disraeli~

 "If God had wanted me otherwise, 

He would have created me otherwise."  

~Johann von Goethe~

"Wherever you go, go with all your heart."  

~Confucius~





"Be who you are and say what you feel, 
because those who mind don't matter 
and those who matter don't mind."  
~Dr. Seuss~

 "No creature is fully itself till it is, 
like the dandelion, 
opened in the bloom of pure relationship to the sun, 
the entire living cosmos."  
~D.H. Lawrence~

 "It is the chiefest point of happiness 
that a man is willing to be what he is."  
~Desiderius Erasmus~

 "Like the sky opens after a rainy day 
we must open to ourselves.... 
Learn to love yourself for who you are 
and open so the world can see you shine."  
~James Poland~

 "Be what you are.  
This is the first step toward becoming better than you are."  
~Julius Charles Hare~

 "We all wear masks, 
and the time comes when we cannot remove them 
without removing some of our own skin."  
~André Berthiaume, Contretemps~

 "You must have control of the authorship of your own destiny.  
The pen that writes your life story must be held in your own hand."  
~Irene C. Kassorla~

 "Is life not a hundred times too short for us to stifle ourselves."  
~Friedrich Nietzsche~

 "You were born an original.  
Don't die a copy."  
~John Mason~

 "It is better to be hated for what you are 
than to be loved for something you are not."  
~Andre Gide~

 "Once conform, once do what others do because they do it, 
and a kind of lethargy steals over all the finer senses of the soul."  
~Michel Eyquem de Montaigne~

 "Why try to be someone you're not?  
Life is hard enough without adding impersonation to the skills required."
~Robert Brault~

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Friday, September 23, 2011

Bullying: WHAT IT IS, WHY PEOPLE DO IT, and WHAT IT DOES TO KIDS


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SOME MORE ANTI-BULLYING MESSAGES




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ANTI-BULLYING PROGRAM: "RESPECT"

This lesson is dealing with one of Granada's "4R's" RESPECT.

The first R is BE RESPECTFUL
to yourself, your parents, your teachers, your school, others and their property.

A group called the Staple Singers recorded this song called: 

"Respect Yourself." 

1. Start the song

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2jBsOa2WwRs

2. Display the lyrics and discuss

      Respect Yourself Lyrics
If you disrespect anybody that you run into
How in the world do you think anybody's s'posed to respect you
If you don't give a heck 'bout the man with the Bible in his hand
Just get out the way, and let the gentleman do his thing
You the kind of gentleman that want everything your way
Take the sheet off your face, boy, it's a brand new day

Respect yourself, respect yourself, respect yourself, respect yourself
If you don't respect yourself
Ain't nobody gonna give a good cahoot, na na na na
Respect yourself, respect yourself, respect yourself, respect yourself

If you're walking 'round thinkin' that the world owes you something cause you're here
You goin' out the world backwards like you did when you first come here
Keep talkin' about the President, won't stop the air pollution
Put your hand on your mouth when you cough, that'll help the solution
Oh, you cuss around women and you don't even know their names
And you dumb enough to think that'll make you a big ol' man
Respect yourself, respect yourself, respect yourself, respect yourself
If you don't respect yourself
Ain't nobody gonna give a good cahoot, na na na na
Respect yourself, respect yourself, respect yourself, respect yourself

3. Work on these worksheets: 
http://www.worksheetplace.com/index.php?function=DisplaySheet&sheet=charad&links=2&id=&link1=31&link2=32

http://www.worksheetplace.com/index.php?function=DisplaySheet&sheet=Paragraph-Writing-Respect&links=2&id=&link1=31&link2=32

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Cyber-Bullying

If You Wouldn’t Do It In Person, 
Don’t Do It Online

“Talent Show – Cyberbullying Prevention Video” (0:51)

 “Cyber Bullying” (1:25)
 

ACTIVITIES: 
worksheets
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